Love

Envy wrote:

Kelaiah_ wrote:

I wish I've never tasted the pain that love brings. Sometimes I think I would be happier if I have never fell in love at all.

But then again, I don't regret a thing.

True..Love can be excruciatingly painful. I remember how badly I was stuck in the spiral of depression when my ex and I fell foul and he ended up blackmailing me for a few months on end. I cried at the slightest things, I stopped eating and have consequently become irreversibly 'ill'. It just felt like a complete betrayal of trust and yet some part of you can still find some feelings for the other for a while afterwards. Crazily enough - I don't regret my earlier days with him. Much. :huh: Back when it was innocent and honest 'love', I guess.

I'm pretty much depressed right now. And I'm so scared of staying alone because I know I'll think too much; that can only bring me into deeper depression. Sometimes I feel so empty, emotionless, but it comes only after hours of crying and lasts for 30 minutes maximum. I've been forced to ask for a professional help, so I hope this will help. And I found something that fills me up. So I'm trying to think positive.

Kelaiah_ wrote:

I'm pretty much depressed right now. And I'm so scared of staying alone because I know I'll think too much; that can only bring me into deeper depression. Sometimes I feel so empty, emotionless, but it comes only after hours of crying and lasts for 30 minutes maximum. I've been forced to ask for a professional help, so I hope this will help. And I found something that fills me up. So I'm trying to think positive.

I'm the same - I found online gaming etc. a way of keeping my conscious pre-occupied, so I stopped dwelling on things so much. Writing poetry, drawing, painting, and playing instruments also helped to keep my mind preoccupied.

I was also supposed to have someone professional to help me, as arranged by my doctor - However, I decided not to turn up..Because I didn't feel comfortable with it. Hope all goes well for you.

Envy wrote:

I'm the same - I found online gaming etc. a way of keeping my conscious pre-occupied, so I stopped dwelling on things so much. Writing poetry, drawing, painting, and playing instruments also helped to keep my mind preoccupied.

I was also supposed to have someone professional to help me, as arranged by my doctor - However, I decided not to turn up..Because I didn't feel comfortable with it. Hope all goes well for you.

Thanks. I like writing too and it really helps me, but lately I've got no free time because I'm on a college. I'm supposed to be learning, but it's hard to concentrate on something that boring. That's why I'm having a professional help, I need to solve this as quick as possible.

Kelaiah_ wrote:

Thanks. I like writing too and it really helps me, but lately I've got no free time because I'm on a college. I'm supposed to be learning, but it's hard to concentrate on something that boring. That's why I'm having a professional help, I need to solve this as quick as possible.

Hmm..I'm in the exact same position. My thoughts often mean I can't sleep, which leads to me being near-asleep in class *very* often. I'm already 4 essays behind in classes..And I'm usually the top of the class..Which stresses me further, I guess. I've never not-understood things before. :pinch:

And back to the topic - I remember back when I was younger, I used to be distracted pretty badly when someone I 'fancied' was in my classes. :blush: Luckily, work was a breeze and I could get away with staring endlessly without having it affect my grades.

Envy wrote:

Hmm..I'm in the exact same position. My thoughts often mean I can't sleep, which leads to me being near-asleep in class *very* often. I'm already 4 essays behind in classes..And I'm usually the top of the class..Which stresses me further, I guess. I've never not-understood things before. :pinch:

I can't sleep too. I've been sleeping for 3 hours last night. My room-mate went home yesterday so I was alone. Everything was fine until I turned off the lights. I think I've never been that afraid. I was thrilling and I squatted like a little baby. Experience I would never like to repeat.

When your mind is racing with thoughts, all you can do is talk about them. I had my mind filled over with thoughts of bad things that had happened, for months, untill I went and talked to someone. For an hour or two I just talked about it all, and she listened.
After that, my mind was empty and I could think about what I wanted. Good things. Like all that stuff didn't matter anymore.

All I can do is advice you to go see someone. And then keep talking to them, even if it doesn't seem to matter. I've been there, back and forth, talking to people and just being alone, but now when I see a professional weekly, even if we just talk about daily matters, I feel much better then I have.