worst fears

I'd have to say a fear would be out living my kids or anything bad happening to them. I am very protective of my boys anyone who would mess with them would truly have me to fear (no joke). I am slightly of afraid of Black Widows, though they are beautiful creatures, they still give me the creeps. Rattle snakes, I've never been around any live ones (just a couple of dead ones because they are around where I live), but I'm sure if I ever saw one alive I would be terrified.. Another would be dying slowly and/or painfully, I wouldn't want my loved ones to suffer too. Cancer scares me. My dad had it but, it was removed. My grandpa on my dad's side lost the battle with it, (started in colon and spread to major organs). My grandma on my mom's side died from it (started in ovaries and spread to kidneys and liver). I hate knowing it is on both sides of my family.
My baby who is 16 months had a birthmark on his head, it got inflamed twice and we were reffered to a plastic surgeon for it. He said there was a 7% chance of it turning to cancer when he got older. So of course, I opted for surgical removal. We had it removed last Wednesday. He is doing great now(he doesn't even act like anything has happened). The Dr. said prior to surgery, that it was better to remove it now because as he gets older the chances of cancer increase. SCARY STUFF!! Nothing is as scary as feeling helpless and not having control when there is something wrong with your child. Or having to wait while your baby is under anethesia and in surgery.
On a lighter note, after surgery we had to wait an hour to see him because the nurse kept trying to wake him from his doped up sleep. When she finally came and got me, it was just the sound of my voice that woke him from his sleep.

I have a fear of wasps. I don't scream when i see one, but i can't relax while in the same room as one, i've had this fear since i was very little, but it's gradually decreasing as i get older.
Also some huge freaky millipede that used to live in my basement.
Also, being out alone at night makes me nervous.

I fear death, but not in the aspect of my life being over. It's more about running out of time. There are so many things I want to do, so many ideas I want to see come to fruition. I fear my end will come before I get it all done.

I'm terrified of flying, which considering I'm on a plane about ever 2-3 months these days is pretty ridiculous. When i was on the way to Chicago a few weeks ago and we were flying through some thunderstorms over Canada I was terrified to the point where i couldnt scream and i was shaking too much to even pick up a glass of water to drink without spilling. I just hate the idea of having no contact with the ground while being on such a height in a closed space. It's real psychological torture. But still, I find the benefits of air travel outweigh the bad side.
I'm also terrified of invasive medical procedures like giving blood, surgery and especially epidurals and IVs. The thought of them makes me cringe, although the only one i've had to do out of those was the blood giving (which i nearly fainted before and during on several occasions, hah)*knock on wood*.

I really try to work through rather than around my fears though. I don't want to limit myself because of these fears although if i'll have a reasonable alternative i will probably go for that

My worst fear?

Become a rap-boy...
YO...

T.

cockroaches! :ohmy: