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12 years 8 months ago - 12 years 8 months ago #34466 by black_magnolia
Envy wrote:

I recall it was just hard to get by socially when the majority of girls around you have lost their virginity and have gone sex-mad from ages 12-14 and you haven't yet.


Here the only \"pressure\", so to say, was more if you have a boy/girl-friend, not if you have slept with him/her and that pressure was mostly dominant from the end of elementary to the middle of high-school, but later on it fades away becasue I assume people come into their own and figure out how it's not really that important.

Also, here there isn't really that much pressure that you have to have sex in a relationship if you are a teenager. One of my friends was with her boyfriend for 2 years and they didn't have sex at all, didn't let themselves be pressured into it because of other people's opinions. Another friend waited 6 months before having sex with her boyfriend, now they are almost 6 years together. And I have quite a number of friends (girls and boys) who are still virgins and are in fact of age, even older then myself.
I think it's just a matter of how strong you are to opposing any pressure there may be from others.

Generally, with all people I have discussed this topic, be it that they had sex young or haven't, all agree that it is better to wait.
Now, I don't know if this may be a cultural thing here in Croatia that teenagers aren't so promiscuous, but I wouldn't be surprised that a lot of girls, for example, in England have lied about their sexual experience just to avoid this supposed pressure...

To see a world in a Grain of Sand,
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
Last edit: 12 years 8 months ago by black_magnolia.

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12 years 8 months ago - 12 years 8 months ago #34467 by Envy
black_magnolia wrote:

Generally, with all people I have discussed this topic, be it that they had sex young or haven't, all agree that it is better to wait.
Now, I don't know if this may be a cultural thing here in Croatia that teenagers aren't so promiscuous, but I wouldn't be surprised that a lot of girls, for example, in England have lied about their sexual experience just to avoid this supposed pressure...


Oh I would agree that it's better to wait - Hormones settle down as you get older and all..Can think a bit more clearly. :P I wouldn't say that I personally felt pressured by peers to do anything early, but by 'hard to get by' I meant for me, it was hard to even have a decent conversation etc. with girls my age that wasn't about relationship crap! If everyone knew you had a boyfriend, first thing they'd ask is basically \"How far have you gotten/have you 'done it' yet?\".

I think in general, those early-teen years were awful just because no-one really thinks about what they're doing. If a girl or a guy didn't 'put out', then the other would spread shitty rumours about them all over the school about how 'frigid' they are, and I remember quite a few gained that reputation and were teased quite a bit for it.

One of the many reasons I never went looking for guys in school/college - Because *everyone will know everything*. :pinch: Not to mention, guys in school/college had some kind of need to impress their friends with their sexual experience, so guys in school/college would be more likely to pressure a girl, as opposed to if you dated a guy outside of school, where taking your time was more of an option. Those relationships tended to last longer too.
Last edit: 12 years 8 months ago by Envy.

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12 years 8 months ago #34468 by black_magnolia
Ah, I understand. Here it's a bit different becasue in our school system we have classes from 8 a.m. till 2 p.m. with 5 minute breaks between classes (which are 45min long) and a 20 minute break for lunch, so there isn't really any time to mingle with people who aren't in your class (you listen all subjects with the same people...) - not really a good \"environment\" for spreading rumours.

I had a few couples in my class/form, some lasted really long, some were quite short (so almost no one even knew about them.) Generally people here aren't so interested in sticking their noses in other people's love lives. Sure, you had the occasional gossip girl or guy (hell, from my experience, guys are more \"chatty\" then girls :silly: ), but that was pretty insignificant.

To see a world in a Grain of Sand,
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.

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12 years 8 months ago #34474 by Serpenvicis
black_magnolia wrote:

Eeep! :S I'd say 11 or 12 is too young for hair-dye and make-up.

My generation started with artificial highlights at the age of 14-15 and completely dyed hair in high-school (like 16-17 years). No make-up in elementary school and almost none in high-school (maybe just some eye-liner or some discreet lipstick).


Oh, it's not like that anymore :huh:
Girls in my school started with makeup at 11. Some even earlier. They are all going out at evening, drink alcohol and smoke at that age too.It's getting worse and worse with every generation. They come to school with makeup, and teachers don't even react on that. :pinch:

Wanting to be like someone else, we forget who we really are.

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12 years 8 months ago #34478 by black_magnolia
Serpenvicis wrote:

black_magnolia wrote:

Eeep! :S I'd say 11 or 12 is too young for hair-dye and make-up.

My generation started with artificial highlights at the age of 14-15 and completely dyed hair in high-school (like 16-17 years). No make-up in elementary school and almost none in high-school (maybe just some eye-liner or some discreet lipstick).


Oh, it's not like that anymore :huh:
Girls in my school started with makeup at 11. Some even earlier. They are all going out at evening, drink alcohol and smoke at that age too.It's getting worse and worse with every generation. They come to school with makeup, and teachers don't even react on that. :pinch:


Damn! :( *shakes her head in disapproval*
(I feel so old now. :silly: )

Serpenvicis, should I assume that it's the same with sex and there is a promiscuous trend here too?

I hoped that with the trend of accusing the media for manipulating the population, kids would maybe sooner rebel against all the junk that is being fed to them rather then embrace it...

Truth be told, I'm not too appealed by these trends. In the medieval ages it was normal that a girl was married with 12-13 (ergo soon after she got her period) and soon pregnant too, so if our culture wants to go back there - suits me fine. I'd fancy seeing our military also going back to armour and swords. Maybe then we would get back some chivalry and decent values... :woohoo:

To see a world in a Grain of Sand,
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.

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12 years 8 months ago - 12 years 8 months ago #34480 by iHauntTheSepulchre
Envy wrote:

I was with my first 'proper' boyfriend for just under 4 years..We got together just before I turned 14, so..I think that was year 9. Even at that, we were together for about a year before we did anything really intimate. Yes, it was still underage and all of that..But compared to everyone else, I was experiencing everything rather late.

I'd say the trend where I live is that most people (girls) would have lost their virginity underage. I can't think of many who don't fit in that category.

Everyone else would sleep around after being with someone for 2 weeks or something, and even now, very few people I know can say they've lasted in a relationship for more than 6 months. Everyone seems to be happy to run around and sleep with as many people as possible without any real commitment. Guys and girls.


Well, even though by social standards I am with my second boyfriend, I only consider him my first because one of my apparent \"friends\" was going out with my \"first\" boyfriend at the same time I was. She herself told be when they broke up. Either way, I've been with my current boyfriend for almost two years now, and we've only just started to sleep together (and even then we're always wearing pyjamas!) I have friends who are shocked we've lasted this long!
It's not just girls that've lost their virginity underage - in my year level last year two girls got pregnant, and another one waas pregnant two levels lower than us! And everyone says tht Catholic school girls are good... :S

Death's kiss was soft as rose petals...
Last edit: 12 years 8 months ago by black_magnolia. Reason: fixed boardcode

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