Welcome to your window on Armageddon.
You arrive precisely to witness the crescendo of a momentous struggle against the cohorts of evil; this thunderous, draconic manifestation of the devil, come again at this time from the depths of iniquity to attempt to sever the last tenuous thread of life from the ancient and sacred line of David.
I am the convert guardian of the Sangrail, evoked from the inimical underworld by the agents of Yahweh at this their time of greatest peril, and together with my legion of angels of stone will extirpate this nefarious onslaught on humanity. Time, dedication and conscience have equipped me with profound strength, wisdom and the powers of the forbidden, arcane arts, and duty has delivered me to this violated, hallowed place of ultimate battle.
Drawing on my powers on necromancy, I breathe amuletic life into the host of dormant, divine monuments and in a chaotic moment of eternity and with brutal, golemic ferocity the last defence aquit their immortal duty. The Diabolis is vanquished, for another aeon..
Once again, my unqualified thanksgiving goes to my cardinal collection of fossilised effigies labouring for the good within the walls of the alembic, and to you, our unswerving flock of acolytes, for supporting our worthy cause.
I bid you adieu,
Albrecht Magistus
alias The Alchemist